So this hasn't exactly been a really good week for me.
Since my last blog, where I was basically having a really bad day due to some people making me mad for the upteenth time since I've known them, welp, things just went downhill some more.
Just today, I found out my car's brake line is leaking, potentially busted, and this was when I had to take a real life friend of mine, my best friend even, to court tomorrow because he's going through some legal trouble. I was his only ride so he'll end up missing this very important court date. Worse still, this friend is only a few days away from ending up in a homeless place downtown. This was after his mom abandoned him and my mother doesn't act like she cares about his welfare.
Then there's college, which I've been trying to get into for the past months. We've been having technical difficulties of all sorts and more difficulties finding a place we can afford, as well as get financial aid for. I should've been in college by now and working up toward Full Sail so I can pursue my passion for writing and game design. Right now, that goal seems a whole galaxy away, and it's hurting my morale a bit.
Regarding the online life, since that previous blog, and perhaps makes sense that it did, considering the content, I've alienated some of my friends and I made a couple more hate my guts. Of course I don't blame them, who'd want to have a friend who thinks so poorly of them? Not to mention acts so damn clingy about it?
Doesn't mean I like how it all went down though. It left me depressed and even more angry for a couple days once the blocks and removals started happening, and right now I feel like I did before I joined this fandom; lonely in a crowd of people. I've lost too many friends and it hurts losing more, especially when they're all I really have in this stupid life of mine where I've done horrible thing after horrible thing. Worse, things like this continue to make me become cold, detached, callous, and spiteful in recent years, and it horrifies me. I'd see the whole world burning all around me, see people with their issues, just watch as I lose friends left and right for various reasons or another, and what would I do?
Just play a game or watch some show like it didn't matter in the slightest, and hope my depression or anger goes away.
I wanna miss a couple of my friends I lost a few days ago. I want to be doing more for my best friend instead of looking after my own issues.
But instead, here I am... getting caught up of Season 5 of Breaking Bad.
So yeah. That's all I wanted to write today folks.
Watching: Breaking Bad